An interview with…Salad Fingers

An interview with...Salad Fingers

When it comes to internet sensations, the inimitably green-hued ragamuffin known as Salad Fingers is more often than not broaching the top of the innumerable top-10 lists. Here he opens up his heart and soul zones to us in order to allow us a tantalising glimpse behind the mysterious curtain.

Thanks to his omnipresent God-like good friend David Firth, Salad Fingers rose to fame in his eponymous hit internet series which debuted in 2005. Since then he has gone on to bigger and greater things, including walk-on roles in several Hollywood blockbusters, as well as a bit-part in popular British period drama Downton Abbey.

With homes in London, New York, Santa Monica and Doncaster, Salad Fingers consistently ranks high up on Most Sexy Men charts, most recently placing 4th in Company magazine’s rankings (between George Clooney and Brian Blessed).

But despite all the acclaim and success, he never forgot his roots and has always been happy to associate with fans (or ‘praise squires’ as he so affectionately refers to them). As such Salad Fingers was happy to answer some of my questions:

When did David Firth first approach you to make a series based on you and your life?

I’m awfully sorry but I do not follow the words you are offering me. My life was highly publicised back in the glory days. My singing is what kept us afloat during those telling times. These days I have all but memories.

What has your rise to fame been like and how do you handle your legions of fans?

We occasionally get a visit from the prune bush, but it’s only brief and without merit. I am firm with all types of visitors. If you aren’t immediately firm, they will settle in too easily and make the place their own. I shalln’t have an inch of such badful manners.

Can you tell me about your likes…what are your favourite things in the world?

The bits and bobs in my drama box are all the pleasures I need, that and my good friends, we love a good natter and often vacuum together if it’s a dusty day.

And what about your dislikes…what do you hate?

Sometimes my willy gets filled with crumbs. It makes me feel a bit pooey.

Tell us a little about your friends…Hubert Cumberdale and the sort? How are they?

Hubert isn’t speaking to me since I belittled his faith. I don’t take to his rituals. Marjory is always good to me, however much I fidget like the fussy little turkey I am.

Can you tell us a little about your past, your history?

I once had as many piles of things as I had hairs on my head. Them were the only days I recall.

Will we be seeing any more of your magnificent adventures in the future?

My admirers will see their fair share of adventures if they keep an eye out. I don’t see what all the fuss is about myself.

And finally, do you have any messages or general world advice for your many fans?

Keep a keen eye on your own. Don’t be a nuisance with your elders and don’t burn your fanny on a candle.

Be sure to check out the complete adventures of Salad Fingers in this video compilation below!

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